My New Relationship

So I think I’m falling in love. Not sure, but it’s the only thing I can equate my feelings to at this point so I’m just going to go with it.

It all started about two and a half months ago. It was innocent at first and very unfamiliar–often overwhelming–and mostly I wanted to bolt. But I didn’t. And now here I am and I can’t believe that this is my life because I never expected to feel this way. I want to give my all my spare time to this new strange relationship. Suddenly it’s like everything has purpose again…

You see, I just started a Masters degree.

It was like jumping into cold water with my eyes closed. I tried my hardest to see what was down there and look around to make sure it was the right decision but there was no way to tell except to take the plunge. But once I dove in I found that the water was warm and full of life and that was more of a shock than the cold sting of the ocean in December.

I am studying Maritime Celtic history and literature. I know there’s no one out there who can really understand this, but I love it. I am particularly focusing on the poverty of the Irish and Highlanders as they arrived here and how that has since influenced our culture. My topic keeps getting more and more interesting and the more I learn the more interested I become.

I never ever expected to fall in love with my homeland. In fact, I spent most of my time growing up expecting to leave it. But it’s like there is something I just can’t get away from and it’s scary because now I know I might not ever be able to leave. I find myself driving around and wondering what things were like here 100 years ago…or hear a maritime accent and instead of being embarrassed I beam with pride. I look at the run down houses and the struggles people here face everyday and feel compassion and empathy…but never pity. How could I? This is where I come from. And the more I understand and uncover the buried treasure of my land, the more my heart softens. It’s like blinders have been taken off my eyes and I can see what was always right in front of my face.

How crazy do I sound? I drive around and just silently take it all in–the land, the architecture, the people-because there are no words to describe the way I feel. I am the luckiest girl I know. I have a place where I come from, a heritage, and I am part of what I see as a great story. It’s like we’re in the middle of it all, only part way through, so no one else knows how amazing the story is going to turn out but somehow I got a glimpse. The past, the present, the future all connected…and I get to live it. The only feeling I have ever felt that can compare that of falling in love…only without the fear that it won’t work out because it’s all already finished.

I don’t expect you to understand. I know that I may stand alone in this, but that’s o.k. I just wanted to share this new relationship and tell someone that I have never felt so whole.

And yes I love studying local history, literature, and language and I thought I should share that with the world. If that makes me crazy, well I guess I can deal with that.

Retractions

 

So I have a few clarifications/corrections to make regarding the previous blog.  Firstly, I realized that New York City is not an “under-rated” vacation spot. In fact it is very much a well-rated one.  But still, I am a fan and thought I’d share that with the world…So yeah, just in case you were reading and thinking “Wow, Shelley thinks she’s discovered New York City, we should get her some help.”

Secondly, I did not forget lovely PEI. I just figured that since I was FROM there and not discovering it in my journies, it didn’t fit the category. But recently I spent a day on the Island with about 15 tourists, many of whom had never been to the East Coast of Canada before.  The group absolutely loved the place which is actually pretty surprising because November is not normally a time of year that I would advise people to visit (cold, gray, nothing is open, etc.). I think it’s good to see your home from an outside perspective every so often. The good things I heard the most revolved around the beauty and authenticity of landscape and the people. Even on a FREEZING november day the red cliffs can be pretty astounding and the old churches so awe inspiring.   That is something we’ve got on the West (and we don’t have much so we’ll take what we can get). Sure we have strange accents and weird license plates but we’re damn good people us Maritimers!

The day ended with a fantastic walk around historic Charlottetown (sure, it was mainly to find a restaurant that was actually open but still….) and a stop at Hunter’s Pub where we heard some dang good open mic music.

I am growing more and more appreciative of our end of the world. I think the Maritimes is a hidden treasure in so very many ways! Thanks CCU folks for reminding me that I’m not crazy for continually calling it my home and loving it so much.  

Speaking of love, that leads me to my next blog (coming soon, stop harassing me, E.J.) about falling in love…STAY TUNED.

P.S.–I am finally done my insanely busy travel schedule so this means that I will be more consistent with posts and hopefully have a real life again.